🕰️ Why you should be wasting time constructively

Surround yourself with people that enrich your life

Feb 16, 2023

In my family, Peter J Solomon’s book, Wasting Time Constructively, is a common reference. If you aren’t familiar, Wasting Time Constructively is a memoir that catalogs the ups and downs of one very successful life. Peter is a legend in the finance world whose career took him through some of the most storied firms on the planet and led to a life rich in experience.

What I took from this book is that life is about creating opportunities for luck to strike. (Similar to The Luck Factor, which is also worth a read.)

The concept: spend time developing relationships with people that create value in your life, without a set agenda.

A misinterpretation : network 100% of the time, demonstrate value and always find ways to forge professional connections.

How to waste time constructively

Developing and maintaining relationships is not always easy, but there are a few things that just about everyone on Earth appreciates: knowing someone is thinking about them and feeling supported. It isn’t hard to do that either. Send a text, schedule a phone call… Those little touch points add up A LOT.

Spend time with people: be it a walk with an old friend, coffee with a new acquaintance, a birthday dinner where I know one person… These are all opportunities to learn from others.
Pick up the phone: Calling to check in and catch up on someone’s life might mean more than you may realize. You don’t know the kind of day, week, month or year that person is having, and they will remember that you thought about them. Plus, you never know where that relationship could lead.
Send a text: Yes, this is the lazy option, but it isn’t a bad one. It only takes a few seconds to fire off a text. Why more people don’t do this, I don’t know. It demonstrates thought and can be the bright spot in someone’s day. Again, these little touchpoints show continued interest in a person and speak volumes over a longer period.

Talk to a stranger

This one won’t land for everyone, but time for a story... When I first moved to San Francisco, I explored the city by walking everywhere and trying new coffee shops. Five days in, I stopped at Sightglass Coffee on Divisadero, ordered a cappuccino, and squeezed myself into a round booth. Then three people walked in and one of them, Dave, asked if I worked at Workday, saying it had been his first job after college. I said it was my first too. This chance meeting blossomed into years of friendship and shared life moments - all from a simple coffee shop conversation.

Start a pizza Instagram

This one is a bit unique. A few years ago, I started a pizza Instagram account in the Bay Area called Slice of SF. I didn’t grow up obsessed with pizza, but what seemed like a good way to explore my new city turned into more than I had ever dreamed. I spent a lot of time building a recognizable brand and relationships with local business owners, which resulted in Slice of SF being featured by Eater and SF Gate. It also connected me to both my last and current job. The point of this is to say, it doesn’t matter what you do, just do it well. Best impulsive decision I’ve ever made…

In all cases, remember

Relationships are fluid, so keep doors open. You never know who might return to your life.
Don’t be afraid to be rejected. Put yourself out there, and be unapologetic about it. Step outside of your comfort zone.
Those that gravitate towards you and your energy are the right people for you. Those that don’t aren’t.
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” (I’m still working on this.)
Provide value to others. Give more than you take (if possible).
Try to avoid wasting people’s time, smelling every flower, and PLEASE, PLEASE thank people for their time. Time is money, and they were generous enough to spend some with you.

Why do any of this?

Ultimately, the whole point of any of this is to try to live a well-rounded life. A fulfilling life. An interesting and fun life. A life that maximizes happiness. Isn’t that what we are all after? So leave open doors, reach out to that person you haven’t seen in years, ask a friend how they’re doing… You never know where it may lead.

Sanesparza